Thoughts Every Mom Has on Christmas Eve Eve

  1. Did I buy enough stuff?
  2. I most certainly did NOT buy enough stuff.
  3. Will the lines at Target really be THAT long? Like, is it THAT serious?
  4. How are we almost out of toilet paper again? Looks like we’re going to Target, after all.
  5. Is that an excuse to go to Target?
  6. I can’t really buy more if the kids are with me. I could leave them in the car, if I leave it cranked.
  7. Why is it SEVENTY-FIVE DEGREES right now? It’s fucking Christmas.
  8. Should I get the dogs presents?
  9. Should the kids be doing homework? They’ve been watching Teen Titans Go for two days straight…
  10. I wonder if my dad will bring me toilet paper.
  11. My head hurts.
  12. My headache is only going to get worse from here…
  13. What if no one bought ME anything for Christmas? Eight year-olds buy gifts, right?
  14. I hope the dogs don’t piss on the presents again this year.
  15. Do they need more Chubby Puppies? We’ve already gotten, like, four.
  16. What the hell is a Shopkins?
  17. Is 11:40am too late for a mimosa?
  18. My sinus cavity is in full rebellion mode. Thanks, El Nino.
  19. I should check my list again. What if I forgot someone?
  20. CVS will probably be open on Christmas. I can just get the last-minute gifts there.
  21. I did that last year and spent, like, $200.
  22. I hope I bought the kids an equal amount of gifts.
  23. I should count them again.
  24. How many episodes of Teen Titans Go are THERE?
  25. We should eat lunch soon. I have sandwich meat and no bread. I’ll just put the turkey in a cup.
  26. The kids will be, like, wild savages by the time school starts back.
  27. I’ll be the weather is beautiful in Costa Rica right now.
  28. I wish I could see a sea turtle.
  29. I wonder if they sound like Crush from Nemo.
  30. Oh, we can watch Home Alone tonight!

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